I have done some soul searching lately. Really trying to nail down who I am and what I want. Part of this is a result that I am frustrated with my day job. Not having the tools and not given the freedom to run the business as I want to has left me without a vision for that business. And this keeps me from giving 100%, which is something that really eats at me.

I am also frustrated with my online business. In my mind it is growing and developing, but I don’t have the time and resources to physically build what I want.

This leads me to wondering what it is that I really want. Where do I want to focus my limited resources of time – energy – money.

So that leads me to a number of very intelligent people that I have read their books, listened to their tapes and followed their blogs. One idea I see coming out of all of them is the need for VISION.

You need a Big One!

A big idea than centralizes all your smaller objectives. It will bring focus to your life, and passion to your work. It gives you a purpose, a reason to bounce out of bed, a reason to work late into the night. A reason for living!

I struggle with coming up with my BIG ONE. I have many ideas, many of them very BIG. Majority of them are all part of a bigger entity. Defining that entity is what is hard. To me, the picture is very fuzzy. And that is a problem.

“If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand”

I cannot right now see it clearly in my mind. I try to define it, I try to bring the picture into focus, but it never quite gets there.

I think this is partly because I once had a very crystal clear vision. It was something that I spent over 15 years working at. I toiled dusk to dawn and then some. I spilt sweat and blood for that vision. But in the end, economics would not let it be. If your vision is not financially sound, then it cannot be attained. It must be solidly embedded in reality.

So I gave up that vision, and started to build a new one. But it takes time, it takes a change of priorities, it takes a change of dreams. And changing one’s dreams is not an easy thing to do.

So yes, the dream is taking shape. Once I thought I had a picture of it, but with a closer look, at both the dream and myself, I knew it was not quite right. So the picture is still fuzzy.

But it will come. I am using the tools that I have to make it come into focus.

And in the meantime, I am using my time to gain knowledge, to gain skills, to increase my network, to put together a solid foundation.

Then when I see that dream – the BIG ONE clearly, I will be set to grab it and hold on for all my might.

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